My Journey - Pure & Raw
The Day I Broke My Elbow
Scroll down to experience the full story — unfiltered, uncut, and real
Wanna Hear a Funny Story?
It starts with a race, ends in surgery — and I’ve got the recordings to prove it.
Now, let me tell you how this all began.
On Monday, May 5th, 2019, I took my son — “The General” — to the Emirates to watch Arsenal play Brighton.
On the walk up to the stadium, the conversation turned to who was faster — me or him.
Now, The General was sure he had this in the bag.
But me? I knew better.
He was 19, in his prime.
I was 51, going on 52… and still knew he didn’t have a chance.
The game ended 1–1, and on the drive home, the debate kicked off again.
"Alright," I said, “Come on little man — let’s settle this.”
I pulled up on a quiet back street near home, and we both jumped out.
“Fastest to the end of the road wins — ready?”
“After three.”
Ready… Set… GO!
We both took off like the clappers.
For the first 50 metres it was neck and neck — then I decided to hit the afterburners.
I started inching ahead when — boom — my foot caught an uneven patch of road.
In a split second I realised: my little old legs weren’t catching this one.
A blink later, I was tumbling head over heels like I’d just come off a motorbike.
And trust me, when the dust settled, I was a total mess — knees grazed, palms shredded, elbow on fire.
“What was I thinking? I ain’t no spring chicken. I’m 51 — not 15, bloody 51!”
One second I was flying; the next I literally looked like I’d just lost a fight with a lion.
Anyway — with my knees grazed, palms stinging, I somehow managed to drive The General home… then back to mine.
But once I got upstairs, reality hit — that elbow wasn’t right.
I couldn’t fully straighten it. Couldn’t rest it on anything. I knew it wasn’t good.
After an hour, Zee took one look at me and said, “We’re going to the hospital.”
We did — and sure enough, the X-ray confirmed it.
Fractured elbow.
The Broken Elbow and Wrist
When I fell, I knew straight away something wasn’t right. The pain ran from my elbow down into my wrist — sharp, deep, and impossible to ignore.
The elbow was fractured — that much was clear from the first few X-rays.
But what worried them more was the wrist. According to the surgeons, the scans showed something that would need a complicated four-hour operation — four incisions, and an external metal bar to realign the joint.
Fifteen days and several X-rays later, I was admitted for surgery. The procedure left a two-inch jagged scar on my elbow, with two pins to secure the fracture.
My wrist, however, was a different story. Even though it was swollen and painful, I chose not to go ahead with the wrist operation. Something told me what they were seeing might be an old injury from years of jujitsu training.
After more discussion — and some reluctance on their part — they agreed to operate on the elbow only.
Everything I’ve said here is backed by my medical records — the scans, and even the audio from the consultations before surgery.
It’s all part of the story of how it happened — and the proof you’re about to see and hear next.
Pre-Operation Consent Discussion
What you’re about to hear is real — a short excerpt from the consultation where the surgical team explained the wrist operation they believed I needed.
They described a four-hour operation involving four small incisions and an external metal bar to stabilise the joint, warning that refusing it could lead to lifelong pain or arthritis.
I recorded the consultation for my own recovery notes — but I’m sharing this section because it captures something important.
In this clip, you’ll hear the moment I trusted my instinct, declined the wrist operation, and chose to let my body heal naturally.
Actual consultation recording, 3 days before surgery.
All names and personal details have been removed for privacy. Voices have been disguised. Transcript provided for clarity.
[Play Audio — 4:04]
Press listen in browser
Not Play on SoundCloud
Consultant: So right wrist, examination under anesthesia. Examination under anesthesia. So we put you to sleep and then we assess your wrist. Okay. That's what I've written here. Then closed or open manipulation.
Me: That means?
Consultant: it means, because the joint is coming out. So, we manipulate it and put it back. Okay.
Me: So closed or open means?
Consultant: open means we have. we have, we open it.
Me: Right.
Consultant: To Put it back.
Me: Okay. So. Okay. Okay. Well come back to this.
Consultant: Okay. So that’s it, after radial corposition, that's the wrist joint. Okay. Plus minus (inaudible) Now, if it keeps coming out like that, then we put what called pins. Two pins here into pins here to hold it in place.
Me: So, what, the pins, what would the pins do.
Consultant: So they go in the bone here, and the bone here. And then we fix the pins with a connecting rod outside.
Me: So da… outside?
Consultant: Outside yeah.
Me: For good?
Consultant: Sorry?
Me: Forever?
Consultant: No. no (giggle)… Let it heal and then take it out in future.
Me: Right and how big is the scar?
Consultant: So if we open it, it will easily be about that long.
(One-inch scar shown on top side of my hand)
Okay. But for the pins usually like stab incision small to go in there, here, we might open it a little bit longer to see where the pins are going, because there's nerves here.
(Two-inch scar on base of wrist to middle of my palm demonstrated)
We don't want to damage, were not going blind there. Okay.
Emm. And then with the radial head. (Elbow)… After putting to sleep. Because there will be no pain factor we can assess if you.. we are able to do that, then we don't have to fix it. Can leave it, let it heal. If we think that it's better to fix it, then we’ll it.
Me: Emm… The… sorry I had one more question. So… The range of movement, what's going to be affected with the range of movement after.
Consultant: So after surgery, you know, it will become stiff, but hopefully with physio you get better range of movement.
Me: And like…
Consultant: So at the moment, you, so how much can you go down?
Me: No I’m fine going down.
Consultant: That way, pull it like that for me…. And that way…
Me: See it just feels like a sprain in this one, that’s why I'm a bit concerned because at the moment I am not feeling, like normally if you have an injury you’ll go ouch. The’ll be something which is causing you pain… See this is what's making me say that this must be an old injury, because the only thing I feel is as though when you have a sprained ligament, or sprained ankle for a while, you get that same feeling, the same sensation of a slight tightish feeling. Yeah, but no pain. Yeah. If I go… you know, if I bring it down I can… I can bring it right down and its not gonna really hurt… only the sprain side. So that's why I'm thinking that maybe we should investigate it more, because this doesn't feel like it. Although it's moving.
Consultant: Yeah. Okay. Have a seat outside let me see if I can speak to someone.
Me: Thank you so much, sorry to…
Consultant: No, no, no that’s ok…
(Two or three minutes later)
Consultant: I wasn’t able to get hold of him. Okay, I've got your number. I'll try later.
Me: Ok.
Consultant: If I get any update, I'll get back to you. Okay, so. But please, come on Monday morning and we can discuss it.
Me: Yeah Absolutely. Like I said, I'm quite happy if we need to do…
Consultant: Keep it in the sling and em we will see.
Me: I'm happy if we need to have an operation there,. (Elbow) happy with that. But this one, I think we need some more consultation.
Consultant: That’s fair enough.
Me: I really appreciate your time, thank you so much.
Consultant: Thanks for your patience.
Me: Your welcome, thank you so much... I’ll wait for your call, thank you… so Monday morning I’ll fast.
Consultant: Yeah fast and come to theatre, then we can, consultant can also see you, and we can discuss and decide what to do, alright. Ok have a nice weekend.
Me: And you too. Thank you. Bye bye.
Conversation excerpt:
Surgeon: “We’d need to open the wrist on both sides and connect the pins with an external bar to hold the joint.
If we don’t, you could be left with ongoing pain and stiffness.”
Me:
“I understand, but I believe this may be an old jujitsu injury. I’d rather try the cast first.”
That exchange marked the turning point — and three days later, I was minutes from the operating table, still deciding what to do.
Just Before the Operation
Ten minutes before surgery, I was still debating whether I could go through with it.
The anaesthetist explained they planned to put me under general — but I wasn’t comfortable with that.
Something about being completely out — not waking up, not being in control — I just couldn’t bring myself to agree to it.
So I asked:
Is there any way we could do this under local instead?
He said it was possible, but I’d need the surgeon’s approval.
He left to ask.
The next few minutes were a blur.
Gown on. Cold room. Heart pounding. Trying to stay calm.
Then he came back: the surgeon had agreed.
And just like that, it was happening.
I was going in — fully awake.
What you’re about to hear is part of that final conversation — which started with a wrist examination and ended with a decision: stay awake, stay present.
The mood is quiet. Cautious.
I wasn’t trying to be brave.
I was just trying to stay conscious — literally and mentally.
[Play Audio — 2:32]
Surgeon: When I try twist your.
Me: Ok when you twist my wrist.
Surgeon: So that this goes into full pronation.
Me: I can feel something in here.
Surgeon: Here?
Me: Yeah.
Surgeon: Here?
Me: Yeah.
Surgeon: Not the rest, not the elbow?
Me: Both of them.
Surgeon: Both?
Me: Yeah. So, I feel it stopping there, once it stops there then we try to go past, I can feel it I that part. But I can feel that same sort of sensation with this wrist.
Surgeon: Yeah… Coz, coz what will happen if your wrist is, is is moving and you've got you have coz it's a com very, forearms are very complex, you’ve got lots of rotation at the top and at the bottom here. And emm… and it I maybe that… we can fix this. You’ll still have a reduction here. What we do? What were gonna do… if we fix this? (Elbow) Okay. We know that's fine. And this wrist is the stopping you moving… What do you want to do?... Do nothing?... If if if there's something we can do.
Me: What today?
Surgeon: Yeah today.
Me: Well, I mean, see, I'm just concerned about this, because what concerns me is. Where I don’t feel no pain. Yeah. That we're just going to go and explore. And we haven't really even done no explanation as to…
Surgeon: Well, the problem is. We don't have a singular test that's really… Emm (Inaudible) has not had an MRI scan has he?
Consultant: No, that's what we discussed on Friday, that we could organize urgent MRI scan over the weekend. And emm…
Surgeon: it's not been ok.
Consultant: But he said at the moment his wrist feels fine and he didn't want anything done.
Surgeon: I think… So I think what we do… is we… Because this is difficult to know exactly what to do... You can gather from all our discussions that it's difficult to know…
Let's fix this (Elbow) because we know that's, we think that's displaced. You can see on the scan there’s a chunk of both that’s missing. So we're make an insition here, we find the two bits of bone… Now that's fairly straight forward that will take me about 20 minutes half an hour.
Me: You just stick them back in yeah?
Surgeon: Two screws and then we sew you back up again okay? Um, then we can RUA this, which means when you’re under anastatic we can twist your forearm and do anything and see how it feels… and then maybe arrange an MRI scan… does that make sense?
Me: Yeah.
Surgeon: Okay… Alright, um, there's some discussion about generals and local anesthetics.
Me: Emm… emm… How do you feel about that?
Surgeon: I don’t mind, as long as you don’t talk to me.
Me: Do what?
Surgeon: As long as you don’t talk to me.
Me: Nah, I won’t say a word I’m a really quiet person…
Surgeon: What you got against general anastatic?
Me: I’m just scared of them to be quite honest…
Surgeon: Ok... No Chatting! You’ll be fine… Nice to meet you…
Me: And you… thanks so much…
Surgeon: “What do you have against general?”
Me: “Just scared of it, to be honest.”
That exchange only lasted a few seconds — but it changed everything.
It reminded me that courage isn’t the absence of fear.
It’s choosing calm when everything in you wants to run.
Three minutes later, I was in the anaesthetic room — heart racing, fully awake, surrounded by masked faces and fluorescent light.
Awake on the Table
They’d agreed to local — no general anaesthetic.
That meant I’d be awake through it all.
A few minutes later, I was wheeled into the anaesthetic room — bright lights overhead, nurses adjusting gowns, voices confirming names and dates of birth.
The team was calm, methodical. Friendly even.
They confirmed my consent, reviewed the forms, prepped the nerve block.
My heart was pounding, eyes wide open — no turning back.
What you’re about to hear is that moment — quiet, clinical, and real. The calm before the cut.
Not much is said.
But you’ll hear it all: the sounds, the footsteps, the clipped tone of medical prep… and me, lying there, still.
Actual audio recorded in the anaesthetic room before surgery.
All names and identifying details have been removed for privacy.
[Play Audio — 4:47]
Anesthetist: Are you all set? Ready for action.
Me: Errr Iiiiiii… errr.
Team: Yes you're ready. Yes. For that? Yes. Yeah. Come on. Yes. You're cool. You're cool…
Anesthetist: This young man is (Beep) my specialist doctor (SpR) who is working with me today, so we're all going to be taking care of it together... So this team, the anesthetic team… First things first, we need to take the outside dressing gown off if we can.
Me: What kind of, what we having here?
Anesthetist: So in this room we are going to check who you are… We are going to pop the drip in the hand, so we can access your veins and then we will give you the nerve numbing stuff. So you can have the surgery done awake.
Me: So its awake then?
Anesthetist: Oh god, didn’t (Bleep. The Surgeon) speak to you.
Me: Yeah he did, he did, he did.
Anesthetist: Oh its confirmed, trust me, I wouldn't have laid a hand on you unless we got that bit clear. But I just trying to get you relaxed before (inaudible). But you are not going to have a general anesthetic. Okay. Take your time.
Me: Should I lay on my front?
Anesthetist: Lay on your back as if you are going to be laying on a bed. (Inaudible)… So we’ll get you to shuffle up the bed a bit because you come down a bit… Woohoo… good man… Right so, the side that we will be operating on. I need you to slide your arm out of the gown, and pop it underneath your arm pit... Amazing… now, (inaudible) we are going to make sure you are who you are, (Inaudible) and I'm going to have a look at your, consent form… Can you please confirm to us your name, your date of birth?
Me: Fitzroy Lawrence (Bleep).
Anesthetist: What’s the number you have there (Bleep) is?
SpR: 23----6-N for November.
Anesthetist: Okay, the consent form says open reduction and internal fixation. On right, arrow there... That is right… emm radial head fracture, plus, examination under anesthesia of right wrist. That just means moving around… It’s signed by (Bleep. Consultant). And hopefully that’s your signature signed today… Is that correct? (inaudible) … Emm ill put a little X over here… Just to confirm, when I do my nerve block that where its going to go... Next thing we need to check with you is… hum, hum, hum, Yes, yes, yes. Any drug allergies to the best of your knowledge? …(inaudible)... is awake block… no airway needed… if required… if we need to convert to GA we’ll use an Igel… We're not going to need to make you go to sleep but (inaudible) … be on the same page… So the question is, did you bring any of your veins with you?
Me: Normally no.
Anesthetist: You normally don’t?
SpR: Its not the easiest but I think I’ll be fine…
Anesthetist: So we take our time here… we make sure its all cool… you shouldn’t feel stressed or rushed… (inaudible)
SpR: No I’m there now…
Anesthetist: Okay. Once you done that bit…
SpR: Fitzroy, sharp scratch….
Anesthetist: I’m going to give you a little bit of chillout thing cool… just to take the edge off of it… try and keep it still… (inaudible) … Give you something to keep you nice and chilled… (inaudible) … But all it is, it’s some cool stuff just to take the edge off of it… you know what, we did put it a little higher up in the elbow… we try and save the area on that side so you can bend it. But as we're not planning on giving you a general anastatic, in the hope of getting you up and out of here as soon as possible we’ll just go in the elbow… Emm… we tried to be nice and go in the hand to give you the freedom but…
Me: Sure you cant do it in the hand?
Anesthetist: Yeah, we can’t we just can’t… You don’t have any veins there… So were just going to go wherever we see the best veins basically… You're cool. You're cool. Because no matter what happened, we have to do this part. Emm… It's just your. I'm judging by your reaction to needles, I can see that I'm going to have to get maximum… work my maximum charm on you to do the nerve block, but it’s gonna be cool…
Me: Nah I should be alright…
Anesthetist: its gonna be cool though… I’ve got every confidence… let me give you a super squeeze… (inaudible) … see… I knew it, I knew it… how can a man, with muscles the size of yours, have no veins?
SpR: I know you should have such good veins…
Me: You know what… my mums not got none either…
Anesthetist: oh really… it’s a family thing… Deep breath… take a deep breath… that’s amazing… don’t hold your breath… just breath normally… good man…
Anesthetist: “You’re cool, you’re cool — no matter what happens, we have to do this part.
But judging by your reaction to needles, I can see I’m going to have to work my maximum charm on you.”
I can still remember the cold sting of the needle, the buzz of machines, the smell of disinfectant.
And strangely — that’s when the fear stopped. Not because I felt safe. Because I’d made peace with it.
If I could stay calm here, I could stay calm anywhere.
PROOF IT HAPPENED (GALLERY / CAROUSEL)
Every image you’re about to see is real — taken between May and November 2019.
From bowl to bone, this is the unfiltered story of injury, surgery, and recovery.
Tap for captions
Healing from the Inside Out
By the time this accident happened, I’d already been eating the Actual Food Bowl every day for over a year.
So while I can’t say exactly what role it played, I know this — my body felt ready.Recovery came steady. Energy stayed strong. The scar healed cleaner than anyone expected.
Maybe it was luck. Maybe it was the nutrients, the consistency — or just giving my body real food to work with.
Either way, I could see the difference.
Many months later — full mobility, no wrist operation, no lingering pain.
Proof it happened. Proof of what happened when I gave my body what it needed to heal.
Boy — am I glad I trusted my gut.
Saying “no” wasn’t easy, but in my particular case, it turned out to be the best decision I could’ve made for me.
Want to see what happened a year later?
(Click below to watch)